


lately i've been losing sleep dreaming about the things that we could be.

by chemicalpixie



Category: Alice in Wonderland (Movies - Burton), Mad T Party Band
Genre: Also Spoiler Alert: She IS In Love With Him, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, F/M, For Ref This Is Like Not RPF, Implied/Mentioned Sexual Content, It's Like If The Mad T Party Performers WERE Their Characters, Technically This IS A Rock Band AU Of Alice In Wonderland So, Trans Male Character, you know?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 05:29:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20168929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chemicalpixie/pseuds/chemicalpixie
Summary: “it was very clearly her and tarrant, the photo from one of their latest shows, with alice holding his scarf (that was still half-wrapped around his neck) in her hand, and their mouths inches apart, and the headline read — in all caps! — “ALICE KINGSLEIGH AND TARRANT HIGHTOPP OF MAD T PARTY: SECRETLY DATING?””or; alice kingsleigh was very muchnotin love with her co-lead, no matter what any of the tabloids might have to say on the matter.





	lately i've been losing sleep dreaming about the things that we could be.

**Author's Note:**

> ok so i learned mad t party existed today and i'm so fucking into it you guys. how come no one told me abt this when it was actually still going on???? anyway an alice in wonderland band au is the cutest shit ever and the first fanfic i ever read was tarrant/alice so like...... i had to. all names are pulled from the tim burton movie, except dinah, which seems to be fanon, though i'm not quite sure why. also alice works at a bookshop like me because i know first hand what customers at bookshops tend to bitch about. also absolem in this is based off ladypillar bcos i love her, and mallymkun is trans because his character in the movies was a girl so the dormouse is trans now. i don't make the rules [shrug emoji]. lizzie is my own concept of what the queen of hearts would've looked like, if disney had deigned to include her in the show (yes ik they had the red and white queen but both of those are from through the looking glass and frankly, disney can _**eat me**_). 
> 
> anyway, the fic title comes from “counting stars” by one republic, though i was listening to the nor'easterers' cover of it whilst writing this. (which, incidentally, is on my list of songs i wish they'd added to the set list, along with “she looks so perfect” by five seconds of summer). anyway if you enjoyed please like and comment it means a lot to me <3

okay, so getting famous was a little more than alice expected out of a band she joined solely because her best friend, absolem morphos, convinced her to join so that she’d have to socialize with someone other than her cat. which alice had objected to at the time, because in her mind, her cat was, to be frank, perfectly fine company — but she’d gone anyway (if only to get absolem to stop pestering her). at the time, she’d thought it was a fun way to spend an evening after a long day on her feet working clerk at the bookshop. plus, the rest of the band was pretty cool, too, and before long, alice had her first full group of friends in years. there was chessur catt, their drummer, who got so focused on the music sometimes alice caught him with a tiny bit of his tongue stuck out as he concentrated, mallymkun dormaus, their guitarist, and a grump, even though he was really a softy at heart, thackery earwicket, their bassist, and the most annoying person alice had ever met (and she loved him for it!) and dinah percy, their manager/dj, who alice was pretty sure belonged in some kind of girl power movie as a high-energy ceo boss. there was also absolem, of course, who was their keyboardist, who was a little awkward, a little bit socially clueless, and loved absolutely everyone. and then there was tarrant hightopp, who was. well. 

alice had always found it hard to find a male lead who could both match her and step back to allow her room to shine, but tarrant — tarrant could match her and then some, and he always knew when to let her take the lead. honestly, it was how well she and tarrant meshed performing together that kept her coming back when she’d had a customer bitch at her for not having a book for twenty minutes and all she really wanted to do was lie in her bed and melt. not that she’d ever tell absolem he was the reason she’d kept at it, of course. 

but get famous she had. the band had suddenly taken off after some celebrity had posted snap stories at their show, and alice had gone from having three hundred instagram followers to thirty thousand. and they were booking shows every week. they could’ve booked a show a night, if dinah hadn’t put her foot down and told them no. and alice thought that being famous was, well, nice! she’d gotten to quit her bookstore job; occasionally people asked her for photos, and she got to hang out and perform with her best (well, if she was being honest, her _only_ friends) every other night. what more could she ask for?

* * *

but then again, maybe being famous _wasn’t_ so nice after all, alice thought, looking at the magazine in her hand. it was very clearly her and tarrant, the photo from one of their latest shows, with alice holding his scarf (that was still half-wrapped around his neck) in her hand, and their mouths inches apart, and the headline read — in all caps! — “ALICE KINGSLEIGH AND TARRANT HIGHTOPP OF MAD T PARTY: SECRETLY DATING?” she couldn’t bear to look at it anymore, and crumpled it up, throwing it across the room. she would’ve screamed, but she still lived in an apartment, and had no intention of alienating her neighbors now that she was just famous enough for tabloids to think they knew anything about her love life. she’d seen these before — there had been rumors that dinah was dating chessur, that mally was dating thackery, that she was dating absolem, that tarrant was dating thackery, and every other combination under the sun. so she wasn’t sure, exactly, why this headline bothered her so much. but it didn’t matter. 

she’d show them. 

* * *

“why are you avoiding me?” they were setting up for a show later that evening, and it was just the two of them — mally was taking a nap backstage, dinah had gone to finagle something from the club managers, chessur and thackery were still on the way, and alice didn’t know where absolem was but alice knew she was going to give her hell later for leaving her alone with tarrent.

“i’m _not_,” alice said, pointedly, even though she objectively was. 

“c’mon, alice,” tarrant pleaded. “i’m not blind, okay? just tell me why.”

alice sighed, sitting down on one of the amps, her hands on her knees. “it’s not... it’s nothing, okay?” this wouldn’t last much longer, and then the tabloids would be off her ass, and everything could go back to normal.

tarrant frowned. “it’s obviously not nothing if you’re avoiding me like this,” he said quietly, putting another box of cords and half-kicking it over to where it should be. “but i’m not going to make you tell me if you don’t want to.” alice frowned. now she felt all guilty for avoiding him for something that wasn’t even objectively his fault. she’d felt bad before, but this had just made it worse. 

it’s okay, alice, she thought to herself — though she wasn’t quite sure who else, exactly, she’d be thinking _to_. it’s just a couple more days. then the tabloids will be over it. “i promise, it’s nothing.”

he ran his fingers through his long hair. “al, is it actually nothing or do you just not want to tell me?”

she couldn’t take it anymore. “listen, okay, it’s just... just one of the tabloids said we were dating and i don’t want them to think that and — ”

she stopped suddenly when she saw the look on tarrent’s face. he looked almost... sad? which didn’t make any sense, because she thought he’d want the tabloids to know he was single. their fans — mostly female, but some male, too — were always fawning over him. he could have his pick of anyone he liked, really. why wouldn’t he want that? “would that be so bad, alice?” he muttered, his voice low, shaking his head. “would that really be so bad?”

there was a long, ugly pause. tarrant sighed, pulling his phone from his pocket. “chess and thackery are here,” he muttered, half to himself. “gonna go help them bring in the equipment.”

alice watched him leave. where had this all gone so wrong?

* * *

she’d been so caught up in her own thoughts that she hadn’t bothered to knock before entering the dressing room, and —

— and there was tarrant, sitting on top of the mirror table, which was a normal sight for the dressing room, except. except there was a petite girl with a red corset on top of him, with her hands in his hair and his hands up her skirt. which was less than a normal sight for the dressing room. 

alice cleared her throat quietly, and tarrant opened one eye. when alice caught tarrent’s eye, he made a little squeak and scrambled to push the girl off, leading to him shoving her to the floor. 

“ah, shit, lizzie, i’m sorry,” he said, all whilst looking at alice guiltily. 

alice rolled her eyes so far back in her head she felt that if they could detach themselves and quit for having been made to work so hard they would. as it was, they just gave her a minor headache. though she wasn’t sure if that was from rolling her eyes so hard or walking in on tarrant with... with whoever this was. “don’t mind me, just here to touch up my makeup before our next set.”

lizzie stormed out behind alice, a pout on her lips, which were painted a dark red, and alice caught a glimpse of what she thought was a heart painted over one of her eyes, and alice suddenly realized where, exactly, she recognized that sloppy chocolate-brown bun with red streaks and impressive pout from, and she spun on her heel, practically yelling, “you were making out with lizzie from jabberwocky and the vorpal blades?!” the lead singer of their ‘rival’ band. though alice hadn’t quite cared about the rivalry the tabloids were so insistent that their bands must have until right now, oddly enough.

tarrant, who was trying to leave the dressing room, adopted a look on his face that resembled a puppy who knew they’d done something wrong but had hoped they wouldn’t get caught. “listen, alice, i — ”

alice cut him off with a wave of her hand, sending little particles of eyeshadow flying from the makeup brush she still held in her hand. “tarrant, i don’t want to hear it! i don’t want to hear any of it. just...” she sighed deeply. “just get out, tarrant.”

alice wasn’t sure what, exactly, she was hoping he would do — insist on staying and explaining that it was all a misunderstanding, that she hadn’t seen what she thought she’d seen? or that he would listen to her and leave. but listen to her he did, and alice didn’t look back as he left, leaving only one word behind to fill the absence he left when he left any room.

“okay.”

* * *

alice’s hands were shaking. they were never shaking before a set, not like this. 

“honey, are you sure you’re okay?” absolem asked, looking over her glasses and into alice’s eyes, a look of concern painted on her face. alice was pacing back and forth around the dressing room. she didn’t want to go out there and look at tarrant’s stupid face and his stupid hat and his stupid coat and his stupid hair. she didn’t even want to think about him. 

“i’m fine!” alice snapped, and absolem jumped a little, bumping into the costume rack and knocking one of mally’s binders to the ground. “i mean, okay, i’m not fine. i just don’t want to go out there and have to look at him!” she ran a hand through her hair and groaned. “eugh, couldn’t he have waited until after our show was over to go and make out with some stupid girl?”

absolem adjusted her glasses. “why do you care so much, anyway?” she asked, wiggling her eyebrows in a way that alice knew meant that absolem was going to say something alice would absolutely not agree with. “is it because you _loooove_ him?”

alice gently shoved absolem (okay, maybe not so gently), and she went tumbling back into the costume rack, knocking over another one of mally’s binders and landing on one of thackery’s coats, narrowly avoiding toppling tarrent’s tower of hats (though, alice wished she had, quite frankly). “what are we, in third grade? don’t you think if i liked him i would know?”

aboslem quirked an eyebrow. “point one, you got upset when a magazine insinuated you were dating him. point two, you got upset when he was making out with another girl. point three, you literally did not give a shit about jabberwocky and the vorpal blades until twenty minutes ago when you found out tarrant was making out with their lead singer and now you’re all ‘affronted he’s fraternizing with the enemy’ or some horseshit, and, point four, you’ve been a grumpy bitch ever since you started this ‘avoiding tarrant so that the tabloids stop thinking i want to suck his face even though i do’ thing.”

“i do _not_ want to ‘suck his face’! or any other part of him!” alice yelled. she could feel a blush heating up her face.

absolem grinned. “point five, you just blushed whilst talking about sucking him off.”

alice collapsed on one of the stools, her head in her hands. “okay, fine. maybe i do want to suck his stupid face, or whatever.”

absolem grinned, clapping her hands together before leaning in to give alice a quick hug. “i knew it!” she squealed, and alice sighed.

“you don’t have to be so damn happy about it,” she muttered grumpily. “so what if i like him? it’s not a big deal. he’s obviously into lizzie anyway.”

absolem laughed in that way she did when she found something outrageously funny — a mix of high pitched giggles and snorts. alice had always found it adorable, not only because she knew girls who weren’t absolem would’ve tried to hide that laugh at all costs. “not a big deal?” she said. “it’s absolutely a big deal! i just won the bet because i bet the two of you would be making out before our next tour while mally thought you two would wait until we were all were eight hundred and then _finally_ you’d hatefuck each other and thackery thought you’d get together before we picked a name for the band.”

alice blinked. “we picked a band name six months ago, abs.”

absolem grinned, a grin that was so wide it was almost reflective of chessur’s on the rare occasion that one caught him smiling. “exactly.”

* * *

alice wasn’t looking at tarrant this set. not for the same reasons as before, but... it was hard singing the songs you were famous for — about love and heartbreak — and looking at the person who might’ve just broken yours. 

god, she’d been so stupid! all this time and she’d just....not even realized that she liked him. and now...

and now, well. she’d probably missed her chance. it was fine. it was fine. it was all fine. she was a performer. she’d get through this set just like she’d get through the others. and then the opening chords to the next song started to sing and she bit her lip.

this was _their_ song. the song they’d stayed up late together writing. the song that had made them famous. and it was a duet. 

she took a deep breath and turned around to look at him as he began to sing. he’d always looked more beautiful in the stage lights, and when he caught her eye, he smiled sheepishly. 

she hadn’t even realized how close they were standing until the lights dimmed around them, leaving only the spotlight on _just_ the two of them. and it was her line next.

“_i feel something so right doing the wrong thing_,” she sang softly, looking up at him. it was tarrant’s line next. ‘_i feel something so wrong doing the right thing_’. she knew it. she knew he knew it.

he didn’t sing it. instead, he leaned down and kissed her, dropping his microphone and cupping her face in his hands. she wrapped her arms around his neck and when he pulled away, she drew him in again. 

“i’ve always wanted to do that,” he murmured into her ear, his breath tickling her ear. alice smiled, pulling him in for another kiss, this time throwing herself up into his arms. 

alice had almost forgotten they were onstage until she heard the cheers.


End file.
